With Thirty Episodes of “Vanderpump Rules” now under our belts and season ten wrapped; the detox has begun and we are left with several impressions of The Narcissistic Man. Reality TV often serves up junk which we happily consume (yet when it serves up something else) the reaction is remarkable.

By

Michelle Montgomery

On a recent episode of “Watch What Happens Live” resident Bravo mega fan and actor/comedian Michael Rapaport compared watching the tenth season of Bravo’s reality TV Show “Vanderpump Rules” to a “a Kurosawa film” which gave us renditions of the crime scene prior to the story unfolding. Rapaport is likely referring to Kurosawa’s 1950 classic film “Rashomon” where the story begins with a woodcutter, commoner and priest as they recount a story about a murder that took place. What is striking for the three men is how different each account is of the murder and each story gets its own dramatic presentation in the film.

Roshomon (1950)

An affair is a lot like a murder where timelines change and lies become bigger and bolder in order to hide the blood trail. With “Scandoval” we were given the news via TMZ that Tom Sandoval and Raquel Levis of “Vanderpump” had an affair just prior to the tenth season airing. This event turned out to be quite the trail of blood for the stratosphere of podcasters, influencers and cast members alike who made down payments on homes and restaurants as a result of the royalties which “Scandoval ” provided. In order to understand how “just an affair” captured the masses via t-shirt sales and old cast members coming out of the woodwork, you have to start from the beginning.

Like the Kurosawa film, it’s the way in which the tale is told that makes it so appealing. “Vanderpump” began as a spinoff of “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” after it was learned that one of Lisa Vanderpump’s waitstaff (Sheana Shay) had an affair with fellow “Housewife” cast mate Brandi Glanville’s ex-husband Eddie Cibrian. Lisa starts the pilot to “Vanderpump” with the now infamous words: “Villa Blanca is where you take your wife; SUR is where you take your mistress.” When the pilot airs, Sheana Shay has just made the switch from Villa Blanca to SUR and had just had an encounter with Brandi at one of Lisa’s events. The cringe washes over the dramatic scene (which was actually filmed for “Housewives”) as Brandi scolds the doe eyed young server for crying during their interaction:

“I’m Sorry like don’t cry because I’m . . . I lost my family. I lost everything that I had so if anyone’s gonna cry here it’s not gonna be you honestly.”

Sheana then informs Brandi that Eddie had projected a future for the two of them. “He told me he loved me. He bought me a diamond. . .”

Brandi then goes on to state “It’s not your fault I mean it’s his fault yeah I would never say someone stole my man cuz you can’t steal a man. He was the love of my life. He was my everything so if I didn’t have these kids to take care of I would . . . I don’t know where I’d be . . .”

Cut to ten years later Sheana (now married to Brock with a baby girl) is crying as Tom Sandoval tells her about his affair with Raquel Levis, a young woman whose character Sheana defended for several months. Tom begins by telling Sheana that when he turned 40 he began to experience a “spiritual awakening” and had plans to break up with Ariana. Sheana then retorts “but you didn’t. You fucked her best friend instead.” After Tom informs Sheana that he cheated on Ariana with multiple women, Sheana fires back “you’re sick.”

Suddenly the show (which is typically a side show act of drunken pool parties, alleyway brawls and restaurant tomfoolery) becomes sad, dark and triggering. Sheana essentially created the show with an affair and “Vanderpump Rules” (which most people thought would die with the pandemic) was re-born after the news of Tom and Raquel broke.

What is essentially so twisted about Tom and Raquel’s affair is that one of Raquel’s best friends and greatest defenders, Ariana Madix (who was Tom’s partner of 10 years) is the one being cheated on. As we watch the season and its three-part reunion air, we notice that not only did Tom have to outmaneuver his partner, but his friends, crew members and co-workers were all a part of the stewy mix of deception. As each sixty minute episode would draw to a close, each cast member would get closer to the truth and in true Kurosawa fashion, unassuming characters began to emerge.

Alley (DJ James Kennedy’s new girlfriend) has an unassuming nature from the start. With a soft voice, long brown hair and a small figure, one would assume that the cast would devour this newbie, but that’s not what happens. Alley is kind and curious, but not in the gossip sense, more-so in the knowledge sense. Alley is the first person to see Tom and Raquel dancing at The Abbey (a dance club and bar in West Hollywood) and Alley is the first person to think it’s weird. The rest of the cast (now years into enmeshed friendships and podcasts) have too many smudges on their coked rimmed glasses to think that this behavior is odd. Once Tom finds out about what Alley saw he quickly informs others that this was a group event which DJ James Kennedy shuts down immediately at the reunion: “No, it wasn’t. It was my dad and Alley!”

Tom’s first deflection / cleanup begins outside of the Bravoverse on the “Howie Mandel Does Stuff” podcast where Tom was able to prelim what could and could not be talked about. Tom informs Mandel (who has actually never seen the show) and his co-host/daughter Jackelyn Shultz that his affair was due to a lack of intimacy and a disconnect which began to affect Tom’s mental health. Tom claims that he tried to break up with Madix “several times,” a claim which she and Tom’s friends deny. The two men then begin to discuss hardships around maleness and mental health which comes off as scapegoat and gross.

When the cast of “Vanderpump” gets the opportunity to confront Tom at the reunion it’s as if every scorned woman alive gets her chance to claw at what remains of this narcissistic man. It becomes clear as the reunion progresses that Tom’s main mental health issue is likely something far more sinister than intimacy. When Lala Kent (the show’s resident truth vixen) calls Tom “a dangerous human being” who is a “narcissist” Lisa Vanderpump immediately shuts her down insisting “a lot of other people have done that before and they are not dangerous people.” While Lisa is correct, (yes several of us have contemplated or have slept with someone who is not our significant partner) most of us certainly have not cheated on our life partner of ten years with her best friend while cameras closely document our every move.

Tom’s main crime is not his actual crime, it’s the way in which he defends himself and his many timelines that reveal his true nature. As the third reunion was about to air the internet was a buzz about a dramatic reveal in which several were speculating about a new timeline or “was Raquel pregnant?” Yet the actual reveal had nothing to do with timelines or even the mistress in question and had everything to do with who Tom really is. Towards the midpoint of the third reunion Andy Cohen (creator and Producer of the Bravoverse) asks Tom if he had slept with anyone else aside from Rachel during this time:

Twas the narcissist shot heard around the world and would solidify everything with a sentence

The room gasps as do the watch parties and instagram feeds, twas the narcissist shot heard around the world and would solidify everything with a sentence. The reason why “Scandoval” has now entered into the zeitgeist isn’t really because of the affair but that it gave viewers (especially women) an opportunity of validation. With each word, sob, fake cry and lie Tom showed us who he was, The Narcissistic Man’s time is up and the endorsements have gone to Madix while Tom remains the most hated man in the universe.

Mary Trump, when discussing the pathology of her uncle Donald Trump in her book “Too Much and Never Enough,” reminds her readers that as a licensed psychologist, she does not intend to diagnose her uncle, nor is it appropriate. However Mary does take the time to surmise as to what his diagnosis might be. Mary points out that Donald meets all nine criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many would presume that narcissists (like Narcissus in his well) are individuals who have a positive view of themselves, perhaps too positive causing the individual to drown in their own image. The reality of this diagnosis is grandiosity where individuals superimpose their lifestyle and sense of self in order to project an image of security when all that’s being accomplished is the opposite. Reality TV and the world in which Andy Cohen (a self-proclaimed narcissist) created fits nicely into the nine criteria.

According to the DSM-5 Narcissistic Personality Disorder is “a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts.” One particular marker of note is that he or she is “preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.” And an additional marker which “requires excessive admiration.” These traits are not exclusive to Sandoval and pervade throughout reality TV as TV producers hire psychologists to find their perfect personality disordered cast members.

The struggle is when this form of cringe begins to affect lives and permeate darkness throughout its cast members which has been the case for “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” for several seasons. Rotating cast members and audiences alike have watched for years as Theresea Jiudice (now Ruelas) has prompted hair pulling, flipped tables, assaulted cast members with vats of wine as she claims that friends and family members are responsible for sending her to prison. The lack of self-awareness is show stopping and unbelievable, a true reality TV marker and indicator of success. And with this marker of success comes Jersey mansions, TV specials, books deals and endorsements; accountability be damned!